So ten years ago around the time my family left the mormon church they spoke of how being homosexual was a choice, and that those who were wrong concerning their sexuality could chose to be heterosexual.
Do recognize that this a more severe demonstration of emotion manipulation. Manipulating your emotions can be rather exhausting, and so leading a heterosexual life when you are actually attracted to the same gender will be taxing. The more recognized form of emotion manipulation that is actually accepted by the masses is more adaptive. If a person who is going through a tough time choses to be happy when they would otherwise be sad has an advantage that the homosexual mormon does not. Being happy and having a happier outward appearance makes those around you happy, and places you into a situation where you are more likely to actually be happy.
The homosexual is pretending to be heterosexual, the unhappy person is pretending to be happy. They are doing this in hopes that they become the person that they want to be – and this has the potential to make them stronger than they hoped. Let me give you an example:
Someone who lacks confidence decides to pretend to be a confident person. At first he makes mistakes as he builds himself up and builds his confidence. However over time he becomes a more confident person in reality, and when he finds himself in a situation where he lacks confidence he can use his technique of “pretending” to be confident when in actuality his technique makes him more confident.
“Pretending” becomes the stable post that is used to allow someone to build up their own emotion that is desired. *It’s as if you are saying: “I’m not actually a confident person, I’m just pretending to be confident. I was able to ask out the guy/girl becuase I was pretending to be confident. I was ready for the test because I was pretending I had the time to prepare. I was able to sing in front of a crowd because I was pretending I was confident.
It can be hard to let yourself be confident, be smart, be loyal, be amazing, be beautiful. Instead “pretending” gives you the option to be the person you’d rather be without actualy believing it. Over time you will recognize youself as having more of the characteristics that you’d rather have. Even when it comes to characteristics like being confident you have to realize that a six that has self-confidence / self-worth is more attractive than a ten who doesn’t. I’m not saying that the six is equal to the ten with these characterics, instead I’m saying the six wins hands down. This tends to be more true for guys, but still it’s foolish to believe that beauty is only skin-deep. Appearance is more than just bone structure.
So yes, you’re saying you’re pretending- but everyone else will say that you’re actually confident. You actually are that person, but to yourself you are just pretending. For those who want to try this out the point is that you’re pretending… the rest is the theory behind it.
But that’s not the point of this post. The point of this post is how to actually feel those emotions: No “pretending.”
This is harder, and I can only share my own experiences conserning this point.
In first grade I learned how to smile even when I wasn’t happy so that the other kids didn’t think I was sad. I wasn’t sad – but I didn’t have a reason to be happy so I wasn’t smiling. At home it was the same, but I wasn’t the happiest kid so there was pressure to hold the outward characteristics of being content/happy even when I was not. I developed this characteristic “smirk,” a permanent smile that I always hold when I am more… devoid of emotion.
Before you can implant the emotion that you want to you first have to stop feeling emotion, and then with a fluid movement feel the emotion that you want to.
There are a few ways to stop feeling emotion. Generally these methods are only used by those that suffer from Depression, are Bi-Polar, or are in so much pain that they just need a release from feeling any emotion. That’s why the “pretending” emotion manipulation is so much easier – because if you haven’t had to feel those emotions this method will likely never work for you. Sadly those would benefit from this method likely have had to suffer too much and that is why they are in the position to need to fake emotion to put themselves into a better position.
Practicing the emotion loss makes it easier, and opens your mind to new emotions. Since the method is two steps the first step needs to be discovered and perfected before the second step can be done. You have to be able to feel at peace instantaniously without using any of the suggested techniques. You have to be able to take a second, pause, feel relaxed (instantly), and only then can you move onto the next step.
*Meditation, relax, create an immage that doesn’t make you think but instead just gives you the single emotion of relaxation. For me I could use the “wave method” of an ocean of waves that just rock back in forth. This helped my mind calm down and fall asleep as a child. Sadly this image is not the one that I use nowadays. The most calming picture for me is mentally cutting and bleeding out.
I don’t condone self-harm, but that is where I learned how to release my emotions. I begged every god I could think of to take away all my emotions, and I’ve SH’d for eight years. Meditation and relaxing should work for anyone who tries it. It won’t work immediately, and will obviously take time to develop. Like I said before- I’ve reached a point where I can think of relaxing and instantly feel relaxed without having to SH, or use imagery.
The state of relaxation is used to erase the other emotions out of your mind to prepare the mind for the emotion desired. Happy and sad are not very compatable you see, neither are low confidence and high confidence.
You’re in a state of relaxation, but not a state that you hold onto. It’s like drawing a bow and then releasing it without holding it to take aim. You don’t necessariliy have to decide what emotion you want to feel beforehand. It’s more of – I need to feel a certain way immediately so you decide to. As you can notice immediately doesn’t have much of a time requirement.
As you let the relaxation slip away you pick the emotion and hold onto it. Do you know what it is like to feel happy, confident, sad, tired, energized, excited. You just feel what you want to feel, you act how you want to act.