You see an offer, you see a job posting, advancement, a girl, a moderator application post, … ect.
You may not say that you will change, but you express opinions and ideas that they question why you haven’t brought up before. They know you, and you know you. If they had expressed more interest in you would express more interest in them. They didn’t until now. You might have expressed your potential, but your potential isn’t what they’ve seen from you.
What they want is the person who doesn’t show their potential to be what they want, but instead is already the person that they want. It’s hard to prioritize something that doesn’t prioritize you back! It feels like a waste of time, and it feels as though you should you should be placing your time and effort elsewhere.
… But that’s not the problem.
The difference between feeling the potential in yourself, and doing it yourself is that it isn’t proven. Forget about proving yourself to other people, and think about yourself. Even if it is what you want, the fantasy behind the desired status. You reason why you say, “I will change” may not live up to the fantasy. What happens when he effort involved in the changed behavior is no worth the reality that did not compare to the fantasy after the honeymoon phase is over. If it is a job/promotion/placement the unknown is unpredictable, and unpredictable may be undesireable. If it is a person they may be afraid that you will hurt them, and are afraid of forcing someone to become/pretend someone that they are not.
So what does that mean? Does that mean that you should change yourself to prepare yourself for what you want? I suggest yes, being the person you want to be is a huge thing. Stronger, more social, advanced, efficient, confidant.
If it involves prioritizing/devoting energy and time to something or someone that does not prioritize you back than I do not know what to say. It’s a gamble that they will make the time for you.. They might, or they might roll you over. Probably better to play it same and move on. But I like to invest… definitely going to try to learn how to invest better though.
Sitting around waiting is waiting to be dissapointed. Investing yourself lets them know that if they invest back you’re capable and ready.