Dream Journal #2 – Astroprojection & Nightmares

I don’t admitt many feelings, especially being afraid or upset.  One underlying reason why I’ve started to study dreams is because of a nightmare of mine.  One that I have been in denial about – and denial does certainly make it more of a discomfort than being “afraid” of it in that sense of the term.

When I recognize that I am asleep my first instinct is to wake up, and yes this works for normal people under normal circumstances, but when you have damaged your system and have a deeper sleep.  A sleep where every instinct is to stay asleep, to stay in bed – when you’re willing to skip meals, skip adventures, ditch out from work or friends.  This instict of mine is one that if I am able to get up it immediately vanishes as if it was never there in the first place.  It is a slip personality type of thing.  When you want something, and it becomes a need, you need it and are willing to pay any price to obtain it, but.  But later it is something that you no longer care for.  After a few years of this I grossly know that my desires can be easily manipulated to desire something, but for different reasons.  I have to be cautious on how to proceed.

In this dream I was not able to wake, and I was aware it was a dream.  However, realizing that I was asleep made me curious, and I tried to will myself to wake up on multiple occassions, and I will testify that I woke up although I would not give that a “100%” testification.  If I had woken I surely went straight back into the dream.

In my dream I struggled, and rolled off the bed.  Rather than going back to waking myself up (taking my ability to wake myself up as a challenge – any “fear” being denied) I decided to astroproject.  Like many people on this subject I could see my body from above, but it was the body in my dream (the one on the floor).

The dream lost most of the sense of vision (the color and picture forms that I have grown to create and enjoy in my dreams) but the dream was very much enjoyable.  I certainly could not control where I flew, or the pictures that took place (similar to an old TV that has no signal).  I believe this was due to the fact of astonishment of knowing I was alseep, and the length of the dream (rather than having successfully ending it).  This astonishment made a description come into my mind of “one step at a time” as if being able to both astroproject AND control it was taking too many steps, not having earned it enough.  I certainly need to learn to take two steps where it is merited rather than shooting myself in the foot just because.  If there’s no reason to go slow, no reason at all to take five steps where only one is needed.  It’s not cautious, it’s holding yourself back from what you want just because you want it.

I believe that for other nightmares, or unwanted dreams the best idea to deal with them is to not just say you will overcome it, but go through a plan in your head of what you want and expect to happen when it occurs.  You have to believe in, believe in yourself, and your ability.  As a rehearsed play this can trigger the nightmare, as well as trigger the response to overcome it.


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