Are you kidding me? Seriously? I lcan list movies I walk away from as 2 stars. Movies I don’t walk away from, but still watch because I had to buy them to watch (and wish I had walked away from) get 1 star. That was Noah. Terrible graphics, terrible storyline, no original ideas that I enjoyed.
Let us make a movie with a Christian title and a Christian audience to only throw aside every part of the movie to the wind in order to make a movie to reach for some sort of watchability. In order to make up for it let us get Emma Watson to reach for an audience, and use B class specs in order to keep the costs of production low enough to make up for any loss in costs.
I almost turned off the movie half way through, but kept it on while I multi-tasked since I spent $20 on buying the movie. In return I got an erratic Noah who had tossed aside his morals in order to kill his granddaughters.
Noah gets about three simple pages in the Bible. A two hour movie that has three pages of discription, and the director can’t even follow the simple three pages of discription. Three pages, and anything that goes apart from the actual descriptions only works to hurt the character of the people rather than build any sort of excitement or add any “holiwood factor.”
I’m going to throw in my bullet points (notes) and then walk away before wasting any more time on this title.
- The nonexistent animals
- Why would we do that, they think it makes us stronger, We don’t eat meat
- The only reference to meat before, or directly after the flood is “don’t eat blood.”
- The dream with the blood on the ground, and the dead people in the sea
- Only the five of them, seriously? They are supposed to the boat with their wives. Half the story is based off of a change the director made.
- Completely destroyed lands, no trees, dirty water. The people are evil, but not to this obvious extent. The people who attack at every turn, how do they sustain their lives.
- Children pay no notice to the number of dead people around them. I don’t know about you, but if any ten year old I come accross walks up to fifty dead bodies they wouldn’t search around without mentioning the bodies. They wouldn’t be stronger about it than the adults.
- Low production costs, value
- “the three sons and their wives” – I don’t know or care where I got this quote from.
- Children were not that young, one of them was not a baby when they were supposed to leave during the flood. Noah was 600 years old, and his children were at least 100. 1/6 of a lifetime of 40 years is still 10 years.
- “fallen angels”
- Fallen angels that care that humans betray the created or even though they were betrayed in turn.
- His father was still alive until five years before the flood, Noah was shown as a boy when his father was killed
- Talking to Him required the use of a drug.
- A seed from the first garden, from Eden? A place guarded by a flaming sword.
- If a girl is born to you, I will cut her down. Noah was willing to kill his grand daughter with only the speakings of himself, one weaker than that of the two dreams he required in order to build the ark?