They’re Only Together Because Of Me

I wasn’t really home sick, I had homework projects that I had to get finished. I had been stressing out over the projects so much and for so long that my mother finally pronounced that I had to take the day off from school.

I wasn’t supposed to be home.  I wasn’t supposed to hear what my mother was saying on the phone.  Normally when she was having problems she would talk in her bedroom.  But she had forgotten that I was home.

My father was giving love poems and flowers to this girl at his work.  She was pretty in ways that he wished my mother was.  The way she was when he married her.  He wasn’t one to cheat so he had been telling my mother about this.  Like he was rubbing it in her face.

They went to weekly relationship counciling.  The female psychologist was on my father’s side.  Are you jelous of him having friends besides her?  She wasn’t happy that my father wouldn’t do nice things for her.  He didn’t make her love poems or buy her flowers.

The psychologist wanted her to stop taking her anti-depressents.  My father agreed with her, he thought that the meds were messing with her mind.  My mother did not want to stop taking the meds.  She was so close to just killing herself that she worried that if she stopped taking them she finally would.

She couldn’t leave him because he was financially supporting us (the five kids).  The church frowned on divorce, both sides of our family told her that divorce would mean she would go to hell.  She was trapped where she was.  And part of that was because of me.

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4 thoughts on “They’re Only Together Because Of Me

  1. Your mom wasn’t trapped because of you…that’s not a healthy way of thinking.

    And..it’s not church that frowns on divorce..God hates divorce. But, the teaching that the sin of divorce sends somebody to Hell is wrong. All of our sin dooms us to that, each and everyone of them. But, they all can be forgiven through the atoning work of Jesus Christ. Once that happens, nothing can ever separate us from God again. Nothing.

    I don’ know if you allow links, but here is one to an article I wrote on the permanence of our salvation through Jesus Christ. Read it if you wish. I’d love to hear back from you if you read it.

    Bless you my friend.

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  2. I was just talking to a friend today about why I like the music that I enjoy, and some events from my life came up. It pretty much ended with him amazed that I’m capable of holding a conversation, a job, a life, ect. There’s a bad habbit in my family of people unable to … cope with life? I suppose. And I gain mild amusement through telling other people some stories of my childhood. The posts here are an attempt to be written in present tense about the past.

    Links are fine, but I would suggest leaving the url opposed to the link, I see nothing in your comment. You did previously send me to that section that you have written, and I’d prefer not to comment until I finish reading the bible. I’m not sure about how I feel about that yet.

    I tell these past stories about my life, and usually with a smile on my face. Growing up I had prayed and begged every being I could think of to take away my emotions so that I would not have to feel.

    I’m in a situation where I have to decide if I’m happy with my situation, or if I want more and what I am willing to sacrifice in order to change what I am doing… and I don’t know if I should be happy.

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