I grew up eating a lot of sugar. I drank a lot of milk, and a lot of soda. There was even a period of time where I experimented with baking cookies where I would make a batch a day. It only got worse when I turned 16 and started to travel around due to college. I would eat pounds of candy at a time. A dozen doughnuts. I wouldn’t eat sugar for the taste but instead for the feel I would have in my stomach. The sugar rush you could call it. It would be painful, sure. The sugar high would be accompanied with a sore stomach, and then after a while there would be the crash.
I was pretty bad at eating anyway so I didn’t notice any pains that were greater than normal. I would eat a single meal a day, and there were times where I wouldn’t even eat that one meal. I would crave sugar though. When I was at the store looking at all the food in the isles my mout would water and I would need something sweet. Like I said earlier: pound of candy, dozen doughnuts, something along those lines.
This was normal to me, and not something that I had done to myself because of my freedom. It was the lifestyle that I been raised into. I was used to ignoring the feeling associated with being hungry. With growing up constantly ignoring them, feeling hungry would not make me want to eat. In fact they would make it harder for me to eat.
A “slightly larger” mother who dieted and ate seperate meals designed to her combined with five children. Meals were pushed off an hour at a time until there was only one large meal per day. Even times were they was food in the fridge we were pressured to not eat because she was about to make us a meal. My father has the same habit that I *used* to have. He would come home and eat a meal after work, but does not eat much during the day. That is the present though, five to years ago he did the same, and I saw him do the same. He would have boxes of snacks and sweets sitting around in his little cubicle. Maybe he even does it to this day.
I would say that I didn’t really care about my eating habits until I had worked at my current job in Oregon for over a year. They just didn’t matter. I had more serious things to do with and I was healthy, alive. It is the cravings that finally got to me, the loss of power that would happen after work and I would feel a disgusting pull to something sweet. So one day I just went cold turkey. The cravings stayed for about a month, and interestingly so did any ability I had to feel hungry. In fact eating became gross, and every now and then I’d have to sit down and force myself to eat. I didn’t quite realize how unhealthy this was until one day I noticed that I had not eaten for four days. The longer I wouldn’t eat the harder it became to eat at all.
When I did eat I would feel bloated. I wouldn’t have that smooth stomach that I wanted. If eating half what you should and feeling fat for eating when you’re underweight aren’t signs of anorexia I don’t know what would qualify. (Developing anorexia, not being anorexic).
But I got a bit more pressure from life, and got an other sort of culture shock. I began to eat small meals throughout the day, and built up the amount of food I could eat. Then, a month ago, after having tried out rock climbing I joined two gyms. Being able to tell myself that I don’t have to worry about adding on fat because I work out an hour a day has allowed me to eat as much as I want, and considering that I have cut out sweets and a large amount of snacks out of my diet the foods I eat consist of primarily vegetables, fruits, bread, and meat.
So now when people hear about what I eat they say that I’m one of the healthies people they know, but they don’t know. I kind of feel bad for anyone who asks me for advice, and for people who might see the title and thing that it can help them out. The only helpful advice I can give is quite simple. Don’t look back, don’t give yourself days off. It makes it all easier to not have it around, and to get in the habit of saying no always compared to only during specific times. (The time difference between waking up and going cold turkey and joining the gym is approx. a year.)