Holding Back

I had agression problems as a young child, and I’d always get mad and throw a fit.  I learned quickly to hold back and control myself.

If you’ve read other posts, you’d understand how intense I was raised to hold back sexually.  No cursing, even if everyone else did.  Not talking back,  not sharing opinions, studying instead of playin video games.  There’s a culture of holding back.

I’ve had homocidal and pedophilic desires.  I can’t control them any more than wanting to eat ice cream, but I’m not at risk of doing either.  I could hide them, but I’d rather have those who feel the same get help instead of continuing in silence until they crack, and how can I expect others to do what I cannot do myself?  Lead by example.

Quitting your job to work for youself, what’s holding you back?

Approach the girl, what do you have to lose, what’s holding you back?

… I’m just use to holding back in this culture that teaches one thing and expects another.

I’m doing exponentially better than before, but I’m still easily burned. 

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One thought on “Holding Back

  1. Yes… you went through a childhood of wrong and ignorant, but you make it sound like your childhood is worse then everyone’s , so everyone has to mysteriously be psychic to understand what it is that will make you see you are safe with her?
    Maybe you let your past corrupt and guide your future…
    Maybe you feel woman that woman are at a different level then men? You talk about your girlfriend as if she doesn’t treat you right or help you feel happy. Maybe you don’t understand her…

    Like

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