“I Would Do Anything For Her” – The Girl

The Girl, because the girl is second class to the guy, expected to accept the afterthought as making her an equal.

The girl who is handed the world, and gets the privilege of the equality that the men are willing to allow.  Regardless of the new found privilege she is allotted, she is treated as though she is being handed whatever she wants without having to work for it.  As soon as she gets anything she is treated as though it was handed to her, and that she did not work for it.

And now there’s that guy.  That guy that romantically complains that he is not good enough for her regardless of what he does.  He’s a nice guy, a nice sweet guy.  And she’s supposed to like him because he likes her, as though she doesn’t have rights.  He doesn’t give her what she wants, what she needs.  He is allowed to skip past girls that he doesn’t like, but as soon as she does the same she is treated like a slut.  A girl who doesn’t know what is good for her.

She gets to choose from the guy who wants to buy her, rescue her instead of work with her, tell her everything she wants to know before walking out on her the instant he gets bored.  Expect her to trust him even though he knows the men of the world.

It’s her fault that he can’t make her happy even if he tried, as though his desire made her his slave.

How can she be expected to give herself away to someone on their whim.  Someone who she fully expects to toss her away once he becomes bored of her.

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“I Would Do Anything For Her”

Take a look at Peeta from The Hunger Games.  Has he become the norm of what boys have to face nowadays?

Boys are taught to watch from afar, and have a rescue instinct that makes it so that they cannot make a move unless the girl needs help, needs to be rescued.  But they dote on a specific version of a girl – one who is a fighter, one who doesn’t want to be rescued.

Girls have been treated as second class citizens for hundreds, thousands, if not millions or billions of years.  But if they are not prepared for their new generation of freedom, they have the option to surrender to a man of their choice.  They can even become a “Sugar Baby,” and get paid “for their hotness.”

The problem is not the impossibility of going back to the older ways.  It is possible for a male to walk up to a female and ask her to give herself to him.  The confidence, the masculinity of it would make him attractive.

The issue is that the boy has a strong mother, one who feminizes her son.  She is the strong woman and demands that her son follow exactly what she says, and the father goes along because she is intimidating. The son sees a strong woman who takes charge, and pushes the boys in line.

So the boy cannot take demand masculinity due to his inability to ensue insubordination, but he can only find desire for a girl who is powerful, in charge, and above him.  She would not be his equal, she would own him.

There are girls who are willing to be the girl for this guy, but not the girl that he dotes on.

Hot/Cold Relationships

Do I want her to be my girlfriend or do I want nothing to do with her?

Is she interested in me, or am I someone who is here to entertain her when she is bored?

Would she stay in the area for me? Would I stay in the area (and turn down a job) for her?

Could I, Do I want to spend the near future with her?  Do I think she is a waste of time?

Do I want to know her last name, Do I want to meet her family, her friends, where she works?

Or do I want the mystery?

Do I trust her?

No.

Do I stay with her for the times when she is my world?  Do I just use the idea of what I want her to be to add to my fake personality, my fake character.

I know what I wanted when we first started.  It’s still the same.  I have yet to let her in on the secret.

One Word Responses To Texts

There are three rather good explanations for having one word responses to texts, and I don’t use any of them myself, and here’s why.

  1. You can’t hold a conversation, and llegitimately don’t give much input over text.  Instead you are more of a talker (actual phone conversations), or not a phone person.  It’s not a bad thing, you emphasize having actual interaction in person.
    1. I find that all forms of communication are important, and that’s why I make sure to be able to converse in other forms.  Although I can struggle on the phone.  (Like a lot of those who missed the generation that actually spoke over the phone.)
  2. You are busy, but want to make sure that you give a response.  However, you don’t have time to do much more than read the text and say, “oh cool” before getting back to what you’re doing.
    1. Chances are you shouldn’t be texting in the first place.  I don’t mind it when people do this – it is a part of them, but this type of conversation can be confused with #3.- Uninterested.  I’ve found that it’s better to not answer the text until you have spare time.  A text is just a text, and if you’re busy you’re not obligated to respond immediately.
  3. You are not interested, but want the other person to know that you got their text.  Perhaps they are someone you do want to talk to occassionally, but you don’t want to talk to them right now.  Just ignoring them can be taken as worse then saying, “yeap I got your text.”
    1. Taken as not being interested in the conversation.  One single word text can be fine, three in a row indicates that you aren’t going to be … participating.

It really doesn’t matter what your reason is.  If you’re not interested in talking I’ll find something better to do.  If you don’t enjoy talking and would rather do something in person I expect that to be clear (and if you don’t have time to do something in person there’s no reason for us to be conversing.)  If you are busy and can’t text, then I’ll do the same as #3 and stop bugging you.

“I’m Easy to Please” – The Loss of “The Chase”

I was guilty of this in the past and I knew it killed my desireability, but it didn’t hit home until I went on a few dates with someone who had this same personality.

By saying that you’re easy to please, you don’t have any dealbreakers, you can be easily enterained, you’re up for anything… I’m not saying it comes off as desperate, but instead as accepting and open.

However, you don’t have much of a personality.  Instead the focus is on making sure they don’t feel rejected even if it comes at the cost of being rejected yourself.

When you first start to get to know someone, especially if sexually or romantically attracted to them you become interested in their lives and what they enjoy, and all the little stuff.  Someone who has no specific interests can be seen as bland/boring.  Instead the focus of the relationship quickly is directed away from other activities to sex.  Not because either person is shallow, but because it is the only thing they have to offer.

Also, it forces the other person is expected to make all the moves, determine the speed of escalation, ect.  And for a guy this can be an issue since the guy is the one who is culturally responsible.  For a girl they’ve got more options in this field. Since this easy to please person appears to be going simply through the motions (you’re taking them to things you like to do), it can feel like they’re waiting for you to escalate to sex.

So in my situation the gut induced obvious move is to invite her back to my place. I don’t have an issue with sex.  I’d be all for renting a room in a hotel, flowers, candles.  I could make it fairly romantic.  For lack of knowing what she enjoys she has a great and entertaining personality.  My issue is with letting her into my space.  My safe spot that I walk into after pretending to be human for a long day and curl in a corner and wait for the pain to subside.  I don’t trust her enough yet.

I feel as though it would be a loss for us both if I just complained, said it was over, that I’m not ready for a relationship (probably aren’t).  It would also make me a fool if I left as some sort of way to do her a favor.  So what do I want?  I want to know what she enjoys, and if she doesn’t know yet that’s even better.  I told her “easy to please” just makes everything more of a challange.  What’s one more impossible challange?  I’ll take them all on.

Movie Review: The 40-Year-Old-Virgin

So I’ll do a quick Pro/Con because I feel pessimistic when I do movie reviews.  Which is why I really prefer TV shows which build deeper meanings rather than rushing things.

Pros: Waiting to have sex (bein a virgin) isn’t that big of a deal for women.  They won’t shun you, or not date you because of it.  And they’ll likely want to have sex with you in order to fix you.  To help you out? sort of thing.

He umm, talked about how hard it was for him, and even asked if woman would find him attractive.

Cons: They try to say that

  • It’s all in your mind, you can make the choice at any momment to have sex.  It was actually dissapointing how good his “game” was.  He didn’t come off as shy or anxious like people in this situation would be in.  You can’t just turn off your emotions and talk up a girl.
  • Every girl wants to have sex with you, all you have to do is say O.K.
  • Waited until marriage.  Usually one would consider this to be a good thing, and makes for an ok climax, but it felt off to me.
  • “I don’t know why you won’t sleep with me.”  – O.K., I’ll just leave, but then we’ll still be able to for a good bond together.

Yayyy, after having sex he all of a sudden was a functioning member of society, and he sold all of his “toys,” even though this “was who he was, and he didn’t want to be forced to sell his stuff.”

If you think it’s as easy as a drop of the dime to change who you are in order to fit into social norms that’s just rediculous.

I’m sorry, I just keep thinking about how close it is to “just stop being gay, it’s a choice, and you can just choose to be a normal functioning person.”