Raisin Oatmeal Cookies

I was at home, and took out the cookies that I had purchased from the store.  I bit into them, knowing that they were Raisin Oatmeal, and bit into them.

I knew it was a dream.  I would never knowingly buy Raisin Oatmeal, and I always check.

I was curious to see if I could taste them.  Disgusting.  OK, they weren’t that bad.

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Defeating the Nightmare: Teeth

Dream experts say that one of the most common recurring mightmare is loose teeth, teeth falling out, dentists, and similar problems. (What percent of facts are made up on the spot?)

Personally, I had braces for ten years, an only had them taken off finally after my teeth roots started to deteriorate!  And with teeth being such a huge part of life for everyone, and a good set is basically considered required as far as parents are concerne when they prioritize getting teeth straightened and leave them to fend for themselves when it comes to paying for college.  I give a huge shout out to Becky G for defeating the “straight teeth are required to be considered attractive.”

Back on topic, I had a dream where my teeth started to twist and threatened to fall out.  I wouldn’t consider this dream a nightmare, or any teeth related dreams- and here’s why.  I remained calm.  Remaining calm will make any dream suitable, and I did what I thought was best in the situation.  I went to a mirror an pushed them back into place.  When I started twisting them back into place I recognized the weirdness of the situation and it led to a nice lucid dream.

If you are having tooth troubles in your dream just make sure to follow the same procedures that you should perform if you were awake:

  • Remain calm – worry about whether or not you lose teeth later, worrying now will only cause you more trouble.
  • Know that over-reacting will cause more stress and more damage.  The damage, if any, is already done, and worry about that in the immediate will not provide any benefit.
  • Consult a dentist who will help you regardless of the situation
  • With modern technology you will find a solution that may hurt your wallet, but is nothing to die over.

If you have a reaction in place that you will perform while awake will provide you with a natural, stress free, answer that will make it so that your “nightmares” are boring rather than unpleasant.

Listen to the ENTIRE assignment 

Rather than just plotting to follow along. Here’s why.

This specific story part of the dream starts with this meeting, or this class, where they explain the entire assignment, but for some reason I don’t pay attention to it!

I run across J as the class concluded, and I guess this job started right after the “class.”

You will have to complete the circuit in two and a half minute quarter mile pace.”

“That’s easy, not even worried at all.”

“Yeah,no, that time includes everything.” J scrambles away. … Whoever is given that rotating position at work (How I met her) is always scrambling.

I go up the stairs.  Andrew is taking pictures of Pokemon cards. It is the first time he has been in one of my dreams. (My elder brother). I just watch him, and then follow him as he goes down the stairs.

As I walk towards the door he says, “you need the 8 cards to put on the towers.”

There is a set of cards on the wall which I grab.

“That’s more than eight…”

“I’ll put the ones I don’t use back.”

“The pictures….”

“Just go, I’ll figure it out for myself.”  I can run faster than him, I’ll catch up and pass him easy enough.  Up the stairs I set the cards down to take pictures.  I don’t know if I need eight seperate Pokemon, and when I look at the cards j only have six.  The rest are the same few Pokemon in different poses, different elements.

Then I just think the dream is stupid, waste of time, something I don’t care to continue.  And the dream concludes.

Falling Back Asleep

So maybe you almost fell asleep and something worke you up, or you woke up in the middle of a dream.  You have two choices, and each have their own benefit.

1) Work backwards through the dream remembering and writing down each detail.  This helps with memory and will help you remember your current and future dreams.

2) Continue the dream similar to how you would force start the dream of your choice.  For example, if you are driving down a road and you wake up, you can continue driving down the road.  DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES.  Opening your eyes will bring in your other senses and cement you into consciousness.  If you instead just continue with your imagination you can slip back into your dream state.

Although you should realize that if you become successful with this technique you will not remember the dream when you wake.

Pff. I honestly would rather prefer to remember my dreams than have a mild sleep dissorder that makes it hard to wake up…

What A Dream Can Say About You

I want to imply here that the world can be seen in many ways, and that the world is the same regardless of the way it is observed.  But the world can be changed based on the way it is observed.  Because observations change actions.

I occassionally have a dream that not only questions why I keep a dream journal, but also questions my desire to live.  It is as though there is no way that I can grow my life to comapre to the dreams that I dream.

My dream was a rather simple one.  A girl that I had been secretly crushing on was over at my family house, and I chose to go to my bedroom.  Not for any particular reason, but because it was my space, secure, safe.  I had chosen not to ask her out or get involved because she was four years younger than me, and that kind of age difference matters when you’re only in high school.  Liking her made me feel like a pedophile.  And fearing that you’re a pedophile makes it easy to ignore emotions.  As if I did not have enough reasons to be ignoring them in the first place.

The sad part was that she was into me as well.

The dream continued with her knocking on my door and asking if I wanted to get pizza or watch a movie.  Within a matter of seconds another girl knocked on my bedroom window.  Another girl that was rather extroadinarily hot and one that I had also spent a great deal of time around.  In college of course, which makes it acceptable except for the fact that she was in a relationship. She had shown an interest in my interests, and weirdly I had shot her down pretty badly.

She had asked why I did not participate in track or cross country anymore.  Running was a “gateway” drug to my cutting, and when I started to cut running just made me angry.  Angry at how I wasn’t competitive during the years I trained for hours a day because I had asthma and taking medications would have made me weak.

I told her that I had learned how that I found running to be based on pain, and that I was not interested in chasing after pain.  You can immagine how that type of reasponse could be a “well, okay conversation’s over” type of reaction if not said well enough.  And I was in the period of learning how to talk to people at that point in time.  Not to mention ignoring emotion due to not wanting to form bonds.  Everyone was going to go their seperate ways ater college after all?.  Socially I grow rather slow.

She entered into my room and specifically asked if I wanted to fuck.

A feeling of sickness started to reach into my stomach, and when placed in a situation where I have to make a choice I generally just let time slip and choose neither.  Way to lose out right?  but choosing either would demean the other?  I figure I could make a choice if I had to.  Although the choice would have been very flip of the coin.

But then they agreed I could have them both.  That they would not mind something casual until I was able to decide between them.  That they wanted to see if it would work out too, to test the waters before committing.  That having to make a choice between the two might be more serious than they’d like.

Which is a problem? that I’ve had.  That I take everything too seriously, and generally don’t accept dates from anyone else after I’ve been on the first with something.  That I give them too much credit and seriousness.  Something about wanting it to be more relaxed.

Something of this sort can be seen two ways.  Either you can see the dream as something that can’t compare to real life, or you can see it as having improved, and that you are one step closer to the life you want to live.

Not that I want to be with two girls at the same time.  In this situation I’d never accept that – as if I was saying that they’re not good enough to be the only one that is with me.

I don’t need the sleep

New life, new responsibilities. A life to be jelous of.  And yet a part of me is jelous of theirs, although I would not be able to make the trade.

I need the time to pass, to dispear into the life of pleasure while I await for the “real existance” to become sufferable.

Soon. The pressure is the push that the promise of bliss could not ceate.  “Furute” can be postponed where pain can not.

… … …

This, that, a million things.

And I can not hold onto the care required to translate the thoughts into words, into action.

So for now I will allow myself the splurge.

There are worse drugs than sleep.

Dream Journal: Nah it’s ok.

No, fun dream first.

I’m in a fight, but my side is losing. It’s a historical *game* with a pre-decided date so I shouldn’t be able to change anything, but I am going to try anyway. 

I run and try to hide behind the rocks.  I am especially careful during the time period where I am supposed to be caught, and I am not!

Cue a short break in the game/video where I am sitting in a receptionist room waiting on something… And the nurse mentions something about the movie being different than the last time she’s seen it.

But the movie is real, and I’m actually in it.  I race down to the beach where I end up being seen, but I rub a rock which freezes my would be captor, and he falls to the ground.

A short distance away I start to gather up all the different magical rocks.  As if I’m caught in a game- I don’t know which powers each rock has, but since they have Amber-like objects inside I should be able to figure it out.

I can only hold so many things… But the rocks turn to life as conscious fish who are friendly allies in water, so I head to the sea with all the Amber rocks and the newfound bag with all my childhood stuffed animals that are ready to come alive as full sized creatures at my command.

There is a large rock I had to leave behind that would help me the most if I could bring it to the sea, but that is rather silly to have the defenses requiring risk to use.  And now I get the power without needing the risk.

As I reach the water the water creatures come alive, but the Amber stones are eggs that need to incubate so I gather them up in a watery nest.

In the water I am given a choice- to live on the earth for eternity, or to live in the sea.  I chose the sea.  Not because I don’t prefer the land, but I don’t want to fall into water and not exist.

As I start to wake I kick into a bit of lucid dreaming to keep the dream going.  My jaw was not in a good place, and I did wake with a headache which only lasted until I fell back asleep.

****

I am going on a trip and I am driving.  I am not always driving my caffeine inside it, but instead as as a remote controlled car.  At one point I am even biking alongside the car.  For the most part it is numbing, and not much thought occurs.

Until I can’t keep up with the car after it goes up a hill.  I put the right turn blinker on and try to pull over, but I know it is already too late.

Both my bike and the car have the same accellorator.  I get up the hill and look for the car which I cannot find.  It appears that I passed out because I wake up in a bush.

As I wake up a car honks at me, and two coworkers (ex-now) get out.

C asks like she would how going to jail was.  (For the car crash that I never saw happen).

“I didn’t go to jail, I don’t know what’s going on just yet.”

“Don’t worry, we’lol help you.”

“It’s fine.” I answer as we get into the car.

Back out of the car. “You aren’t conscious of what’s going on are you?”

It’s a shame that I never did have that conversation with my newer coworkers.  The one where I tell them how I became a sociopath.  A term I am well aware I use with a differing definition.  Psychopath that hasn’t killed anyone.  That the me who is not bonded together fake/created thoughts and feelings died.

I answer giving here he vague response that turns her off.  “I am not conscious, but not because of the crash.  Because I feel as though I don’t exist.”

*****

My dreams are likely so scattered in ideas and thoughts for two reasons.  As I create stories I change what happens too readily.  I am focused on perfection and do not allow a flow.

I was going to write something about C, but seeing as friendships in general do not make much sense to me I will pass on that for now.